Friday, 4 March 2011

Passion Killer



Why is it so hard to write about passion?
I can write about depression and suicide with an alarming ease.  I can write about overwhelming joy and great love ..
Yet the ability to express the emotion of passion, the deep sexual kind of passion, seems to evade me.  I started to write a poem last night. I was sat alone, in front of a roaring fire with only a large glass of red wine keeping me company. Wanting to write a poem, I decided that I would try a new direction, I am normally such a dark poet. To write a poem about seduction and making love would be a challenge and something new for me.

So far everything I write sounds weak, cheap, crap and naff..

I cannot understand why, I am a sexy girl, with an extremely passionate nature.
Please do not think I am being egotistical here. If anyone was to ask me if I thought of myself a beauty, I was probably say no, as I do not think of myself as beautiful, I have far too many flaws.  Although I am fully aware that I am sexy and of the power that brings.  The other day my friend and I were discussing men over coffee. We were analysing which men we found attractive and sexy and in comparison, those who we thought should be so, but for some reason are not.   So I obviously have no issues with verbalising my desires, nor do I have issues with fantasising about them.  I know exactly what I like and the type of people I am drawn to, so it's not even a question of my own ignorance.

I do wonder however, if the reason has anything to do with the fact I have been with the same man for so long, over twenty years now.  Not that in any way have I have forgotten what passion is, but maybe I feel a little uncomfortable about expressing it on paper, almost as though I was being unfaithful or indiscreet.  Betraying him by verbalising my emotions and desires or maybe I am scared that he would just laugh..

As last night, under the soporific influence of the red wine, I had drifted off to sleep...
Leaving my notes on sex open ...
Where he had hijacked my words and had written.....KINKY...in large type

10 comments:

  1. Oh he sounds like a larf! Not the sort of larf 'at you' but the sort of larf 'with you'. Twenty years? That is amazing. Please publish your secrets to success.

    Maybe you need to try and express the passion in another way, without letters and words.

    I once met a woman who made the most lurid and passionate felted scenes out of raw wool depicting she and her husband stark bollock nekkid. Felt is quite fuzzy, but you could see it was them. And you could see what they were doing. To each other.

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  2. Who needs poetry when you can write as beautifully as this? It is hard to express the passionate side of your relationship after so many years together, we're into our 19th year together next month and although we're still at it you're right, it feels disloyal in a way to put words on to paper.
    Kinky? Brilliant! That was Jon's suggestion for my eBay name. xxx

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  3. That was a really introspective piece of writing,maybe you could write about when you first met??
    Your OH sounds great BTW.

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  4. For me personally, passion is a private matter, not to be spoken of or written about, yet I can appreciate an excellent written description. Graham Greene did a fantastic job in The End of the Affair. Also Nabokov's Lolita. It's hard to think of other examples.

    It's interesting what you say about some men being sexy, others not. In my experience, this quality has nothing to do with looks.

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  5. What a great post. Your writing is brilliant so you really should give it a go but you're right it's hard to put into words. Probably easier to do it! ; )

    I laughed when I read what Darren had written. Much love to you both xx

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  6. Maybe there is just a tinge of worry that is stopping you. Worry that if you put something so personal out there, you might be exploited.
    You are beautiful, bye the way, in so many ways.

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  7. Your hubby has a great sense of humour and you are probably right about why you can't write about the subject. But, keep the thoughts in your mind and I am sure the poem will come.

    Sara x

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  8. Hehehe, that made me laugh :) x

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  9. you write so beautifully about other stuff perhaps you just need a bit of limbering up, don't think about it just free flow, write it all however tacky, cheesey, kinky, sopy........and then discard it and start from the top......you can't run a marathon without strething out first!!!

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  10. Your husband cracks me up. I can't write about stuff like that either. It's sounds like a bunch of Harlequin Romance shite.

    Love you! Have a great weekend.

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