Why is it so hard to write about passion?
I can write about depression and suicide with an alarming ease. I can write about overwhelming joy and great love ..
Yet the ability to express the emotion of passion, the deep sexual kind of passion, seems to evade me. I started to write a poem last night. I was sat alone, in front of a roaring fire with only a large glass of red wine keeping me company. Wanting to write a poem, I decided that I would try a new direction, I am normally such a dark poet. To write a poem about seduction and making love would be a challenge and something new for me.
So far everything I write sounds weak, cheap, crap and naff..
I cannot understand why, I am a sexy girl, with an extremely passionate nature.
Please do not think I am being egotistical here. If anyone was to ask me if I thought of myself a beauty, I was probably say no, as I do not think of myself as beautiful, I have far too many flaws. Although I am fully aware that I am sexy and of the power that brings. The other day my friend and I were discussing men over coffee. We were analysing which men we found attractive and sexy and in comparison, those who we thought should be so, but for some reason are not. So I obviously have no issues with verbalising my desires, nor do I have issues with fantasising about them. I know exactly what I like and the type of people I am drawn to, so it's not even a question of my own ignorance.
I do wonder however, if the reason has anything to do with the fact I have been with the same man for so long, over twenty years now. Not that in any way have I have forgotten what passion is, but maybe I feel a little uncomfortable about expressing it on paper, almost as though I was being unfaithful or indiscreet. Betraying him by verbalising my emotions and desires or maybe I am scared that he would just laugh..
As last night, under the soporific influence of the red wine, I had drifted off to sleep...
Leaving my notes on sex open ...
Where he had hijacked my words and had written.....KINKY...in large type